An open letter to the people of America

Dear good people of America,

Being a foreinger in a new and often strange land has made me aware of the following insights about your country:

I believe in my heart of hearts that for the most part American's are good and kind people and as shown to me and my friends during our stay, are happy to go out of your way to help people in need, especially in New York which came as a surpirse to me as New Yorkers have a reputation as being arseholes.

American's are a complex people for as much as you are willing to help people in need you also score an absolute zero for service. Now I don't like to think as myself as being a difficult customer, in fact most of the time I prefere to not speak to my waitress/room attendant/receptionist and just say what needs to be said during a transaction but during my stay in New York hardly anyone looked at me in the eye when serving me, and to even get someone to serve me proved to be a constant struggle.

So here is what I propose you do for my next trip, take an interest in your job, take an interest in the people you are serving, you may hate you job/life but that is something I don't need to know about, just bring me my lunch when I ask for it. The fact that service is so bad in America astounds me considering everyone working in it depends on tips to get by.

The next time there is a blizard (even a bad one) get your shit together and do what you need to do to melt the snow and plough it so that the cities in your country can function again. Also, just because it snows and workers are busy dealing (or not dealing) with it does not mean that you can just stop collecting the rubbish and allow it to pile up on the streets for days at a time. I would imagine this would be a problem for a third world nation, not a first, and certainly not for a world super power.

On a more positive note, your cable television is amazing. Like seriously amazing. Some days I wanted to not do a thing and watch different tv channels all day and get lost in the fabulosity of the different tv shows you have created, that other countries could never even dream up of. You people definently understand what good entertainment is all about and how to turn it into 500 different reality shows. Cupcake wars and Real Housewifes and wedding shows where white trash have tacky weddings will forever be in my heart.

And finally - NOT ALL VISITORS TO YOUR COUNTRY ARE TERROISTS!!! Please for the love of god relax when you let tourists through customs, especially in LA. I did not appreciate the hispanic lesbian border patrol woman giving me the third degree about who I am and what I do and my intended purpose of my trip all the while making me feel like I was about to get arrested, for simply wanting to visit. If you continue everyone will just start going to Canada instead.

I must say though that it was a visit I will never forget and I feel that I now understand you and your way of life a bit better, although I will never understand why you voted Geroge W Bush in as your leader...twice.