The Christmas suffering has begun

Now not that I want to be a Christmas negsicle or anything but sometimes even something as magical and amazing as Christmas can have a downside, and this downside is what I experienced this evening dear reader and it took the shape of a family dinner.

So for those not in the know I am child of a broken home (shocking!) which as my primary school priest will tell you is enough on its own to send me straight to hell, fortunately I am also a rampant homosexual so me in heaven was never going to happen, which I actually feel relieved about, like who wants to spend all eternity with a bunch of catholics, talk about a nightmare!! I secretly imagine that is what hell actually is but the Pope is too scared for the truth to come out, hopefully Julian Assange will be all over that shiz in 2011 - anyway how is any of this getting us to tonight's family dinner?

So my Dad (who I always have Christmas Eve dinner with) decided to be all noble and invite my mother along for the ride of insanity that is our Christmas Eve as I am going on my trip in a few days. Mum was all like whatever it is up to you kids to decided and I was like hell no! I already have enough crazy stories to become a psychologists wet dream so let's not add to it, so of course she decided to come.

The whole thing was a bit awkward and dragged on but wasn't too bad. I took my solace in every now and then seeing my Mum look at my Dad and in her eyes I know she was reminding herself about the reasons she divorced him.

Then Mum and I got home and totally got our Christmas on, watched the carols, finally put up the Christmas tree and wrapped the last few presents, including a lawn mower for my brother in law. Straight men are so weird who wants a freaking lawn mower for Christmas? The most amazing thing is though that I know he will love it and my sister will have a breakdown that she didn't get the biggest present. She is 27.